This is a joke. The author is responsible for the opinions expressed in the text.
Money can’t buy happiness, as Elon Musk once said at X. But there are many other things that money can actually buy.
I noticed this while indulging in the long-standing hobby of going into people’s homes via ads for houses I can’t afford. In California, money mostly buys toilets.
For example, a Spanish-Colonial-style home with a pool, gym, and four bedrooms contains seven toilets. Four rooms and seven toilets in Little Holmby, Los Angeles currently cost $8,750,000 – just over 78 million crowns.
But, I thought thoughtfully, since there are only seven toilets, some guests will have to use the same toilet. It doesn’t work! There must be a his and hers toilet in all bedrooms.
So I kept scrolling. And if you look: The Bonhill house in Los Angeles not only has sea views, a fitness room and seven rooms, but also fourteen toilets. Two toilets per room cost US$36,950,000 (around SEK 330 million).
But now we have a new problem. Fourteen toilets, that’s absolute madness. Who cleans all these toilets? At least not me. The staff perhaps? Yes, the staff is allowed to clean the toilets!
But where should the staff go to the toilet? At least not in the his and hers toilets! We must have more – much more! – Toilets.
I finally found the right one. There’s a house in Bel Air that looks like a child designed a Bond mansion. It has a cinema, a spa and eight rooms. These eight rooms include twenty toilets.
Twenty toilets. There are two toilets per room and then four more toilets. There are more toilets than in a public toilet. What are you doing with all these toilets, you crazy people?
I’m actually relieved that I don’t have to think about it anymore because I’m exactly $135,000,000 short of moving to Bel Air.
How much will it be in Swedish krona? 1204537500. I don’t even know where to put the spaces here because I don’t understand how big the total is. Most of the time it looks like a solid chunk of the number pi.
If we divide it by 20, it’s a little more manageable. In this case, the unit price of toilets in Los Angeles at today’s price is about SEK 60 million/toilet. I hope you have to pee, because each little finger costs a month’s salary.
Read more stories from the EU, like when a very small and very quiet man bought his usual half baguette.
